Hello Tamara, thank you for being here with us, in this virtual space of wellbeing and personal growth. Can you introduce yourself and share with us a little bit of your background story, that brought you to this specific “career path” you are now on?
Well first of all - Hello and thanks for having me here. These kind of “tell us everything about your life so far in three sentences” type of questions always catch me unprepared – even if I answered quite a few of them already. The thing is, as the time passes, I tend to forget some parts and rush to the present moment – and each time someone invites me to remember who I was before “now” – it starts a whole somatic and spiritual process. So, with that being said, and with a deep inhale and exhale, let me try to actually answer the question.
City girl, born and grew up in Belgrade, most of my early years I spent thinking how I don’t really like humans and I prefer mathematics and buildings. I already decided that Architecture is the University I will attend, when I ended up having my first teenage “spiritual” initiation through different videos, books, substances, people. I was searching for meaning, healing and help. I was suffering from bulimia, sexual energy that was too big and I just didn’t know how to handle it so I suppressed it, and my relationship to men was totally blocked.
So I went searching for help. It shifted my perception of everything deeply – but I still was not brave enough to follow my heart. I eneded up graduating at the University of Architecture (even if I knew all along it wasn’t my souls calling) while living a “spiritual parallel life”. At that time it wasn’t something to be bragging about – “spiritual” – “conscious” people were mostly weirdos with problems to deal with. Anyways, after years of doing deep work, through psychotherapy, family constellations, conscious dancing, meditation, prayer, devotion to truth and love – I finally showed up in my life – as me – and not a copy of me.
Once I showed up – I started doing things aligned with my heart – creating magical feather jewelry, sister circles and live and online workshops on different topics related to femininity, sexual energy, dance, embodiment.
Has there been a specific moment / situation / person (or all of these) that made you come closer to spirituality? Can you share this story with us?
My Aunt was the first one.
Actually, I think that the whole thing started with one album of psychedelic trance – the album had tracks titled with names of different psychedelic and entheogen plants and drugs. I had internet at the time so I started googling. This was back in 2005 or 2006. Ayahuasca, DMT, LSD, Salvia Divinorum - all of these crazy thing that would open a doorway to a whole different world. Teachers like Ram Dass and Terence Mckenna, Alan Watts were popular in this psychedelic world. Ram Dass still remains one of my favorite humans.
At about the same time I “accidentaly” went on a vacation with my aunt. She was the one to introduce me to real work, family constellations, psychotherapy, specific spiritual teachers that would change my life. I remember that the first book she gave me was Don Miguel Ruiz – “The 4 agreements”. To be honest, I think that without my aunt – I would easily end up like some random spiritual bypassing junkie, or just a regular junkie. She definitely helped me through the hardest of times. I am forever grateful for her guidance and love. Though I must add – I wanted guidance. When we yearn for something and are really open to receive it – it arrives – even if we don’t have a super special aunt in our family.
How did the beggining of your “work” on personal growth looked like? Which techniques / therapies were you experimenting and which was (or maybe still is) the one that’s best for you?
It was really hard. Honestly, I think that the beginning is the worst. Especially when you start expanding your consciousness, you start becoming aware of things – and you kind of end up hating yourself even more. It is so tricky this part. We want to know, we want to heal, but we end up hurting ourselves because our capacity to love is so small. So we learn and we strart judging. We start “doing the right thing”. We follow the plan. We still kind of hate ourselves because it is not spontaneous, it is not in our intuition – we are doing it because “it should be done”. It makes me sigh deeply even now. All those moments and this deep need to “do it right”. Damn. Anyway, I think that dance started healing this. Conscious dance. 5 rhytyhms at the time, then Movement Medicine and Open floor. So much healing, so much rawness. After that, of course, somatic experiencing. Ah, that one helped me heal so much. Many different courses on feminine spirit and body, sexuality and shame. Tao and tantra. And through it all – I had my spiritual teacher to hold space for all that I went through. And it was a lot.
So I cant tell you of that one thing that saved the day. I believe that it was the combination of my wildest courage and dedication, stubbornness and then after that – the bravery to let go of those principles and lean into feeling and nurturing and loving. Bizzare amount of honesty, blind faith and really the ability to let go and surrender. All of these combined.
Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are now? What are the most important lessons you got from him / her?
There are so many. My aunt and my teacher. Mom and dad. God and Mother Earth.
My Aunt taught me how to toughen up and fight.
My teacher taught me patience and compassion.
My parents taught me that no one is perfect.
God whispered that I am safe – as long as I lean into him.
Mother Earth taught me how to enjoy and savor the fruits of life.
Did you ever have a “normal” career before becoming the intuitive coach?
I worked as an architect at the renovation and restoration of the National Museum in Belgrade.
When did you start “guiding” others who wants to know themselves better? How do you feel as a “guide” and what are the greatest pleasure you get from it? And what about challengings - is it triggering to be part of someone elses’ personal stories? Was there any person you couldn’t work with during your programmes?
Indirectly – in 2017 – through my brand Etera Jewelry. Directly in 2020 – through coaching. I offered sister circles and conscious dance workshops even before all of this – but it was very spontaneous and I never perceived myself as an authority back then – more like a good-hearted sister. The sole pleasure of being able to “help” someone on their path is the biggest one. To help someone be more compassionate, love themselves more and open to life more. Just this idea that they don’t have to do it alone – and that we can help each other – is so healing to me. I cry when I read some of those messages from clients and just people inspired by my works. It gives me the chills. Especially because, honestly, I am just an imperfect human. With my own struggles and pains. It really does help to know that my work helps people with their pain.
Also, there is this part about teaching… Because I don’t “teach”, I channel, I make transmissions. So, each time I teach, it feels like my experience and knowledge expands. It is like magic – really. It is not me doing the teaching, or holding, it is literally God and Earth through my existence. It is the most magical of experiences.
As for challenges, I never thought about this – whether it triggers me. What happens is that when you expose yourself to teach – you also expose yourself to be criticized. This is how it is, and recently I decided that for the sake of preserving my space – I will be more careful with what and how I share my teachings. It is a process of learning, all of this, all of life. There were a couple of people I couldn’t work with – mostly people with personality disorders that were using pharmacotherapy. I am not licenced nor do I feel competent working with them. There were also a couple of people that enrolled to my programs but we just didn’t click. It happens. And some people that would push my boundaries and then get super mad at me for holding them. So these things happen – but they resolve quickly. It is always stressful while it is happening, but now I don’t hold any tension about it any more.
Who are “the best clients” for your programmes?
Women who want to heal truly and deeply, people who are not afraid of having their old systems gently shattered for the sake of opening to truth and love.
What would be your first suggestion / advice to somebody who finds him / herself for the first time on the spiritual path?
Patience. Discerment. Don’t jump into things. Go slow. Learn the language of your body. Do somatic healing first. Come to love your body and sexuality. Get to know and cherish your ego. Discover, feel and release pain related to your parents. Forgive yourself. Breathe deeply. Love fully. Do the polarity – masculine and feminine dynamics work. Take responsibility. Grow up. Dance more. Play more.
How do you keep your own balance in everyday’s life? Do you have some daily routines that help you stay aligned during the day? And what about the food that you consume - do you follow some particular “regime”?
Creativity and creating with my hands is my healing. I love doing jewelry and connecting to life through my hands and touch.
Conscious touch, mirror work, dancing.
Slow morning with tea.
Making love.
Looking at my husband deeply into his eyes. Melting in his arms.
Playing with my son.
Laying in the sun and reading a book.
These are all things that make my days beautiful.
As for food, I like simple and healthy options. Local, home grown, organic. I love eggs. And cacao. And raw milk. I started working out so it asks for a different than regular food regime. I don’t really eat fast or junk food. I feel like being a good example to my kid is also important. And my husband loves healthy food – so it is all really simple.
